2001 |
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December 2001 Whilst reading Alan Sillitoe’s introduction to the 1964 Pan Classics edition of Arnold Bennett’s The Old Wives’ Tale, I came across the following: “His first novel, emphasizing the importance he attached to his advent upon London, was called A Man from the North, and was published in 1898, when he was thirty-one. It was fairly well reviewed, but brought Bennett the total profit of one guinea, with which he purchased a new hat.” Merry Christmas. *** November 2001 This all began when I was watching “Dangerously They Live” (1942) featuring John Garfield in a funny hat. Then the other day I caught “The Fallen Sparrow” (1943), again with John Garfield, and this time there was a whole scene set in a milliners - lots of funny hats. I consulted the imdb to see if there was any connection between the two films, perhaps in the costume department, but there was none, bar John Garfield. I sought out information on the web concerning the actor in order to see if he had any transformationalistic connections. I found a page, which led me to another, this one concerning the Hollywood blacklist (of Communists, not Transformationalists - although I was surprised to find Orson Bean listed among the blacklisted), and there I found a mention of the distinctly transformationalistic film, “Go Tell The Spartacus” (1978). Back to the imdb, but no mention of it there and so I wandered off the point and began a search for another great masterpiece of transformationalistic cinema, “Zombie in the Attic” (?). Again, nothing on the imdb, but google threw me onto a website which held the screenplay of “It’s In The Bag” (1945)(a distinctly surreal opus which has a whole scene devoted to “Zombie in the Attic”). This site also has the scripts of “Charade”(1964) and “The Hustler”(1961), as well as the greatest Twilight Zone episode ever, “Nick of Time”. Finally, I wound down with a visit to a film noir site and came across the 1947 film, “Bury Me Dead” - which is a wonderful title, and the cinematographer is the great John Alton, so it’s definitely one to look out for. I’m gradually cooling on the subject of John Garfield and his funny hats and wondering whether to let it go when I suddenly realise, as I’m typing this, that “The Fallen Sparrow” and “It’s In The Bag” were both directed by Richard Wallace, whom the Radio Times in its wisdom refers to as a ‘studio hack’, despite his having made “A Night To Remember” (1941) - the comedy thriller starring Loretta Young (and featuring the blacklisted Gale Sondergaard), not the film about the Titanic made in England in 1958 (with Laurence Naismith as Captain Smith, the lad from Stoke). Which, when you think of it, makes a nice transformationalist circle, a balloon-shaped affair with pieces of string trailing off - one to “Jason and the Argonauts” (1963) where it could be said that Captain Smith, by some temporal anomaly, learnt his seafaring trade, and one back to “Dangerously They Live”, which has John Garfield leaping out of an ambulance wearing a hat that says ‘Surgeon’ - John Garfield, not the ambulance, that is, and the hat doesn’t speak. It never does.
*** October 2001 A recent survey declared Stoke-on-Trent to be the worst place in England. So that’s all right then. *** September 2001 After last month’s excitements in Newcastle-under-Lyme, it is now time to return to the mundane. I received the following email from China. The subject line declared, “About us flour machine”, and it was this intriguing use of the local vernacular that caused me to open the email and thus unleash a virus into my system. Dear Sir, We know you import flour machine from your site and we thought of taking this opportunity to introduce ourselves to you.Our business scope are mainly in manufacturing the equipment processing 30-200T wheat a day, and our main products are as follows:1. cleaning equipment including vibrating sift, gravity separator, scouring machine2. conveyor equipment including elevator, screw conveyor3. milling equipment including roller mill, bran brushing machine, double plan sifter, flour loosener 4. subsidiary equipments such as hydraulic fluting machine We not only can produce complete set of equipment of flour, but also can produce corn processing equipment, storage equipment and oil processing equipment. For more details please visit our site http://www.shuangshi.com. We are also able to provide complete engineering design and installation.If any interested please don't hesitate to contact us. We would like to provide our high quality products and good service.We look forward to hearing from your good news. Thanks and best regards. Mr.Xu Yinbao Why the Chinese are targetting the Transformationalists in this way I have no idea. I am also receiving emails from Nigeria detailing vast amounts of money held in Swiss bank accounts that I am invited to help liberate. As far as I know the Transformationalists never had any dealings with the Chinese or the Nigerians, although I am currently researching the work of Harold Owen, a writer from Stoke-on-Trent who penned the melodrama, 'Mr. Wu', about an evil Chinaman, which in these more enlightened times would doubtless be deemed racist in tone. It is a bit of a stretch, I admit, but that is the only thing I can think of (although the local Chinese takeaway keeps getting his windows smashed, although I am entirely blameless in the matter). As to the Nigerians, I am at a complete loss. The virus, which according to a very efficient virus encyclopaedia site, is found in the wild in China, presumably nesting among the rice paddies and lotus blossoms, and its official title is "VBS.Happytime.A" (presumably this is meant to be ironic). Anyway, it attacks html files and turns those pretty pictures of clouds and such which decorate our desktops into blank sheets, dark grey in hue. Not happytime at all, but yet another indication of the true state of existence. Speaking of which, I was saddened to hear of the death of Troy Donahue. The name will mean little to any but those ladies d'un certain age, or the brothers of such ladies, who remember the likes of 'Hawaiian Eye' and 'Surfside Six' with some affection. I once wrote a song about Troy Donahue: Troy Donahue come out with me tonight Perhaps I will sing it to you next month (if the Tongs don't get me first). In the meantime, you could listen to this: |
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*** August 2001 Browsing through a book of postcards of Newcastle-under-Lyme, I came across the following: |
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According to the book: “The local clergy are seen leading this Civic procession in the Ironmarket. This postcard has no caption and is undated, so it is difficult to pinpoint the actual occasion.” I pondered on the passage of time and wondered, if, during the next millennium, this postcard were to turn up in some collection of memorabilia of the 20th century, with the conflation of history and the smoothing of facts to fit common misconceptions, perhaps it would be seen as photographic evidence of The Transformationalistic Silent Reading In A Corner Of Newcastle-under-Lyme Library Event which took place on Tuesday, 17th. July, in the year of Our Lord, 2001. Considering the enormous success of this project, judging by the vast numbers of Transformationalists who took the time and trouble to make their varied ways to Newcastle Library in order to read, silently, in corners, it seems inevitable that it will become an annual event. And in the years to come as The Transformationalistic Silent Reading In A Corner Of Newcastle-under-Lyme Library Event loses its simple origins and becomes the focus of media attention, attracting the interest of those great and good among us who will do anything to wear a funny hat and cut capers for the cameras, then surely it is conceivable that some poor student of Transformationalist history will look upon the postcard above, undated and uncaptioned, and will simply draw the most obvious conclusion that this was the start of the Newcastle Library’s involvement in matters transformationalistic. And where will Tom Flemons be then, we wonder? *** |
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July 2001 I am pleased to announce that on Tuesday, 17th July at Newcastle Library (situated in The Ironmarket, Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire), there will be held ‘The Transformationalist Silent Reading In A Corner Of Newcastle-under-Lyme Library Event’. As we used to say in the olden days, “Be there, or be somewhere else, it really doesn’t matter.”
*** June 2001 Whilst searching for Transformationalist Postcards in “Postcards From The Past: The Villages Of Manchester” by Chris E. Makepeace (published by Sigma Leisure ISBN: 1-85058-671-3), I came across the following. |
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Whether this is a Transformationalist Postcard is a moot point. I have included it here because of the text which accompanies it: “BILTON’S MARIONETTES, HYDE GROVE, CHORLTON-ON-MEDLOCK Any photograph of marionettes is unsettling, but with one word, ‘presumably’, the author manages to conjure up a whole other world, full of nightmarish possibilities. *** May 2001 I’ve had the following email hanging around in my inbox for months now. It came out of the blue, but as it declares, this is not a spam, this is punk rock! Since it emanated from Argentina, home of that erstwhile Transformationalist, Jorge Luis Borges, I include it here. I direct your attention to C.P.#01 which declares that “Punk’s Not Dead” - personally I feel that punk died at the first (and last) performance of ‘The Killer Proles’ in Stoke-on-Trent circa 1974 - and to C.P#09 “We Are A Fuckin Shit” which seems to sum up the human condition quite nicely. ******************************************************************************** Hello! First of all, I'm sorry for this intromission to your mailbox. If you don't want to receive this kind of mails, please send me a blank e-mail or with remove on subject field, and you will not hear from me anymore. This is not a spam, this is punk rock! ******************************************************************************** Here is a list of all of our releases as well as the forthcoming ones. *** April 2001 A postcard from Wales, courtesy of Dean Hammersley (no relation): |
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*** March 2001 And sometimes we just wait for messages to arrive from out of the ether. Perhaps a key, with which to unlock the mysteries of the world. We are invariably disappointed. I recently received the following email. I have no idea why. DEAR SIRS; WE ARE A MANUFACTURER FOR THE PADLOCKS. WE HAVE BEEN SPECILIZING IN THE PRODUCING THE PADLOCKS FOR MANY YEARS. AND WE CAN SUPPLY MANY KINDS OF IRON AND PADLOCKS. THEIR BRANDS ARE "A88"; "AA88"; "TRI-NINE"; "OLYMPIC"; ""PANDA" AND SO ON. WE ALSO CAN PRODUCE AND SUPPLY THE PADLOCKS ACCORDING TO YOUR DRAWING AND BRANDS NAME. IN THE MEANTIME, WE ALSO CAN SUPPLY MANY KINDS OF SEWING MACHINES; HARDWARE AND TOOLS; POWER TOOLS;CIRCULAR SAW BLADES; DIAMOND SAW BLADES; BAMBOO MATS AND SO ON .WE CAN SUPPLY ALL THE PRODUCTS IN GOOD QUALITY AND COMPETITIVE PRICES. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THEM, PLEASE VISIT OUR HOMEPAGE: WWW.CHINA-PADLOCK.COM. THANK YOU. BEST REGARD.
*** February 2001 You should also take time to read the brief history of the theremin on the BBC site although it makes no mention of the Transformationalists. Why should it? There is no evidence that Professor Lev Sergeyvich Termen, the inventor of the theremin, had any connection with Transformationalism. However the nature of the instrument itself, its weird construction, its method of operation - wave your hands around and the air is filled with sounds and sweet airs, that give delight, and hurt not - are so transformationalistic in design that it would be remiss not to try and forge some link. Thus I consulted google and searched for theremin in conjunction with transformationalism. Nothing. Transformational. Nothing. Transformation. Now that's a different story. Theremin and Stoke-on-Trent threw up one particularly intriguing hit, a Danish techno band called Armitage Shanks with a song called "Stoke-on-Trent". The song itself does not appear to have anything to do with the Stoke I know, but then again what does? Also, the Danish Armitage Shanks should not be confused with the punk band with the same name. In fact the Danes have now relinquished the Armitage to avoid confusion and are now just Shanks which seems to lose far more than one would imagine. But, I digress, which is perhaps more to the point. Theremin and transformation threw up over 300 hits on Google and I noted down several of the more intriguing ones. I stopped at page 23 because it seemed appropriate. Here are just a few of the highlights. Note the recurring themes, the theremin as agent of change (seemingly sexual but that could just be an internet thing), as magical device, as religious artefact, as instrument of war. Who are the "Followers of Theremin from Siberia"? What is the Monk connection? What is the Wonder Woman videotape of either 5 minute 50 second or 6 minute duration? How does one interpret the statement that 'To complete their transformation, the band has adopted ice cream'? Returned mail: User unknown <http://www.korrnet.org/pipermail/levnet/1999-April/007823.html> Do these elisions in the text hold a secret world? Perhaps only Rasputina has the answer. Or maybe we should try another search for Lev Sergeyvich Termen's alter ego, Rick Doblin Ecstasy (his secret identity within the Siberian brotherhood), ridding the world of zombies and vampires like Jim Morrison with his trusty theremin bolted to a tommy-gun. Of course, if you click the links then all will be revealed, the connections will slide into place, the world will be ordered once more. Which is why I have removed the links. If you wish to return to the mundane, then you will need to type in the addresses. For a few moments longer the strange worlds of Lev Sergeyvich Termen and Frederick Hammersley will be allowed to continue, united by chance and restless imagination. Instead I would suggest you download the virtual theremin and as you wave the professor's hands, wave your mind as well. *** January 2001 As ever, Christmas is a time to bolt the doors and retreat from the incessant clamour of the world. So whatever has been happening in a transformationalistic vein during the past month has passed me by completely and all I can do is wish you all a very happy new year. ***** |
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